Whether you have children or are a free and easy young person in your 20s, coming to the decision that a relationship is not right for you is incredibly difficult.
It requires you to acknowledge that the sentimental memories you’ve collected and the bond you’ve worked so hard at will no longer be of the same significance. You may ultimately be caught in a grey area, unsure about whether to call it quits or give it one more shot. Whatever you are currently pondering, here is how to make your life a little easier in the decision process.
You are ultimately not happy
If you find yourself in terrible bouts of rage, constantly frustrated at the other person’s flaws and ultimately discover a worse side of yourself in your current relationship, you may need to decide what is making you unhappy. It can feel cruel to acknowledge that the other person is making you unhappy, but this might neither be your fault nor theirs. Falling out of love with someone is a painful process, and if you are unhappy as a result, you must acknowledge this.
The other person is toxic
Many people don’t realize they are in a coercive or abusive relationship until after it has come to an end or indeed a friend or loved one has brought it to light. This might be a frightening phase of your life to enter – once you have realized they are toxic and you must leave – and you may need support. If you need legal support for coercive and controlling behavior, then you must trust in the solicitor and take any legal advice you are given.
Lies are sometimes a method of keeping the peace. However, uncovering them can do anything but. If you sense that either or both of you are lying to keep your relationship stable, this could be a huge red flag for you both. If this is something that is concerning you, you may need to air some of your dirty laundry to find out why one or both of you are deliberately altering the truth.
Sometimes the anticipation of what might happen if we end a relationship is far worse than the actual process. If you have been delaying ending your relationship because of what in-laws might say and what your friends might think, then it might be time to just relieve yourself of that unnecessary pressure.
Be clear cut
If you do decide to end the relationship, you will need to be incredibly clear with the other party. If you truly do not see yourself together with them in the coming years, then you must make this explicit. Leaving them in a hopeful ‘maybe one-day’ zone is incredibly misleading, even if you feel as if you might be sparing their feelings.
Whether your breakup is painful, easy or just plain upsetting, sometimes in the long-run, it could be the right decision. It’s important, however, that you take your time: rash decisions could cause you to make a move you might regret.
Beauty Begins The Moment You Decide to Love Yourself
Growing up I was taught to love myself. I was always a little bigger than my sister. It didn’t bother me. We still fitted into each others clothes and I remember adults telling me it was just puppy fat. I grew into a young woman and was a gorgeous and healthy size 14.
I was happy as a size 14. I was not as skinny as the popular A1 girls at school but I had muscle and was toned and fit for playing football, the sport of my choice. I kept fit and did my best to look good. Looking back I realise how gorgeous I was as a teenager. I was beautiful, but I didn’t feel it and I didn’t realise it. I thought I was fat.
As an adult I grew in weight. I married and was unhappy. I became a size 18. I felt disgusting. I felt overweight and gross. I lost my self esteem which worsened as I attempted to find clothes that would fit my now overweight body.
I managed to lose weight only to put it back on with pregnancy and motherhood. I did yo yo in weight from month to month and year to year between a size 16 and 20. When I lost weight I felt good about myself. When I gained weight I felt miserable and unhappy.
It wasn’t until I developed Adrenal Insufficiency and went on daily steroids that I went massive and I mean massive. I ended up a size 24 to 26 and weighing in at my largest at 21.7 stone. I felt miserable and so unhappy and I tried to lose weight but it was very difficult.
Being overweight again lead me to feel ugly, fat and disgusting. I was not happy and so I attempted to lose weight. It really was not easy but in 2014 I went on a calorie counting diet for a year. I managed to lose 15 pounds and then could not lose anymore. Eventually after a year and a half having passed all criteria, I had a Gastric Bypass.
From my heaviest to now, six months after gastric bypass I have lost a total of 6 stone. I’ve been plateaued for 7 weeks now and despite following all the rules I have been given, I am not losing weight anymore.
So do I feel miserable because I’m stuck at a size 18? Should I feel ugly and fat and disgusting? The answer is no! I decided no matter what size I am I will always be beautiful because true beauty is on the inside.
I have a daughter and I want her to grow up knowing that weight and size does not determine self worth. It’s good to be healthy and make healthy choices and I will keep trying to lose more weight and reduce my BMI further but I wont let my size make me unhappy and miserable. I wont allow the messages of society, those I see in the magazines and on the bill boards determine how much I love myself.
I am much more than weight. I am kind and loving. I am caring and talented. I have a heart of gold and do my best to help those around me. I am a loving mother and wife and that is what I class a true beauty.
True beauty is on the inside, in the heart and I am determined to teach this to my daughter, that she is beautiful deep down and no matter how her body changes or grows, this wont determine who she is or how much worth she has.
Welcome to the KLTR Our Kids Love To Read Linky and sausage and chips giveaway.
I co-host KLTR with Laura from Laura’s Lovely Blog. This is a Linky dedicated to something we both love. Laura as a bookworm and English graduate and I’m a previous Early Years Teacher. We both feel passionate about encouraging and sharing the love of reading with our kids.
KLTR will go live on the 3rd Monday each month. You can link up anything related to encouraging children to read, be it book reviews, activities or phonics we want to hear about them.
Ideas of the kind of posts to link up
Simply write about reading with children, share your love and your children’s love of books, what do you love to read together, how do you encouraging reading and books with your little or not so little ones? Books you love or book reviews.
All you need to do to join is:
– Link up your blog post to Inlinks on below.
– Grab the Kids Love to Read badge and pop it in your post.
– Use the #KLTR hashtag on Twitter and Instagram
– Share the love – Please comment on the host’s posts and on 2 other blogs listed on the Linky
Having recently rebranded from Daysinbed to The Inspiration Edit and having our one year anniversary of #KLTR we decided to update our lovely linky badge. We hope you like it!
Laura and I love to read the posts linked up and each month we choose our favourite post to share on our blog.
Laura’s favourite from September was Book Themed Day 3 Jack and the beanstalk by Happy Mummy
My favourite post was 366 Books in 366 Days: Delightful Dragons by Along Came Poppy.
Thanks for Linking Up
[inlinkz_linkup id=670261 mode=1]
Laura and Angela x
The giveaway book for October is called Sausages and Chips by Rick Joyce. We have one copy to giveaway.
*Entrants must reside in the UK or Ireland. The competition closes on the 31st October 2016. One winner will be randomly chosen. You can Enter Below
When Sylvia was born I did not know what kind of hair she would have. I knew she would be half Tongan and so it could have been more fuzzy like her birth father’s or straight like mine. As she grew it became clear she had beautiful curls.
I think Sylvia’s curls make her unique. They are gorgeous and perfect. She can get away with super tight curls or the untamed look and always looks fab. She has from time to time said she wants straight hair like mummy but then I would like curls like Sylvia.
I guess thats the awesome thing about Iron straighteners and curlers, you can have either or.
At the end of the day I think she is perfect as she is and wouldn’t have it any other way! I really love my daughter’s hair. Her curls are gorgeous and it’s wonderful to see every day.
Does your baby have curly hair?
If your looking for some fabulous tips to perfect and protect your child’s curls then why not take a look at this fabulous post over on the Mommy My Way Blog. Nikki Santori talks about how she manages her child’s biracial baby hair. Her post is a great read and super useful.